i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
