Duck Duck Cougar?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My day in three words: secret purse cake
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
