i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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