her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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