big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
