I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
