Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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