Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
