i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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