brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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