my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
