Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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