i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
