he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I didn't shave. On purpose
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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