So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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