The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Every concussion has its silver lining
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
