listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
then he tried to convert me to islam
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
