Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
