The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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