Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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