He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
