Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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