I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
