I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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