woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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