Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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