The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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