all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
