Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
