I cockslap morals
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
