Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
