I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
