walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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