bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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