So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
