Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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