pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
