I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
