chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
