I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
