David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
