Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
