physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
