I wish I could punch you in the face.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
