He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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