She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
