super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
