Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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