I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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