Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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