He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
