If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
