do herpes really smell.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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