dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
