I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
