I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
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